The 52 special

Man on the Street

by Josef Schuman

METROPOLIS, JANUARY 12 — 

With the Black Marvel family earning so much of the public spotlight in recent weeks, we hit the streets to find out what you, the citizens of Metropolis, have to say about the televised murder of the super villain Persuader by the youngest member of the Black Marvel family, Osiris.

Erin McHugh
“Now I haven’t been following the news much or anything, so I don’t know all the facts, but from what I’ve heard from strangers on the subway and what have you, this Osiris character has to go. I mean first he murders his wife and then they don’t convict him, so what does he do next? He gets a book deal and a TV special where he tells how he did it. Now… wait… what? That’s somebody else? I mean, like I said, I don’t watch the news or read the paper or anything, but I think you’re mistaken on this one. I’m pretty sure this guy killed his wife.”

John Henry Irons
“There’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. Take it from someone who knows. Osiris has crossed a line, and I’m sure he’ll live to regret it, if he doesn’t already. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make.”

Dr. Calvin Vekko
“I’m not really prepared for a public statement at this time. Mr. Luthor hasn’t completely figured out all the bugs in the Everyman Project yet, so… wait, this is about Osiris? Oh, um, we should kill him or something. Can I go now?”

Gia Anthony
“It’s like I tell my husband. Sammy, you reap what you sow. You don’t take the garbage out and look, the kitchen smells for a week and the next thing we know, we get mice. Now mice in an aquarium or terrarium or whatever you call them is one thing, but you get mice in your cupboard, munching on your instant tacos and your wheat snacks, and now you have a problem. You see my point, right? Here, wait a second, I’m going to get Sammy on the phone. I want you to speak with him.”

Julie Dermody
“Osiris? No I’m not really into video game systems. Oh, it’s a person? Yeah, I’m probably not into him, either. You can give him my number, I guess, but I’m not promising to go out with him or anything. Although tell him I’m free this Saturday night. But don’t make me sound overly needy, okay? Oh, oh, and tell him I like sports and stuff. Guys like that. Oh, and make me sound pretty, you know? I’ve put on some winter weight, but I’ll lose that real soon. Tell him about my hair. I just had it done. Wait, where are you going? Make sure he calls me, okay? I’ll be waiting by the phone. Tell him I have free beer. And cable. Tell him I have cable.”

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