The 52 special

Metropolis Massacre: “NEW JLA” Disbands Under Shadow Of Failure

by Ron Troupe

METROPOLIS, OCTOBER 19 — 

The first mission of the reconstituted Justice League was nothing less than a total disaster, say witnesses who watched in horror as at least two dozen “Everyman” heroes were slaughtered by an as-yet unidentified antagonist.

The incident began abruptly and without warning in midtown Metropolis. Dozens of sword-wielding men dressed like pirates of centuries ago, along with futuristic robot warriors, seemingly materialized out of nothingness and began wreaking havoc, harassing and terrorizing hundreds of innocent bystanders. Almost immediately, the invaders were confronted by the self-proclaimed new Justice League, which included Firestorm, Firehawk, and Bulleteer. Rounding out the team were a large, male, bare-chested new operative wearing a buffalo helmet and calling himself “Super-Chief,” and a bizarre, green-skinned, insect like figure who spouted wisecracks and was referred to by Firehawk as “headcase.” It is not yet known if that is his super hero codename or simply an insult.

During the conflict, a large group of participants in Lex Luthor’s “Everyman Project” arrived on the scene to join the Justice League in engaging the invading horde. Many of these participants have not yet been identified, but witnesses say that some of them identified themselves by their codenames. At this time, it is known that these codenames included “Gladiator Giant,” “Fireface,” “Dynamole,” “Poledancer,” and “E.S. Pete.”

“I guess it’s true what they say-all the good names are already taken,” said Jaime Escalante, 46, an eyewitness on the scene.

The Justice League seemed as focused on keeping the “Everyman” heroes out of the action as they were on stopping the invading horde of pirates and robots. But it was to no avail, as most of the “Everyman” heroes were struck down. In addition, Super-Chief was blasted by some kind of energy beam and apparently disintegrated completely. 

Any direct connection between the new Justice League and previous incarnations of the legendary team is currently unknown. It is unclear whether the Firestorm of the new team is the same one who served as a JLA member several years ago.

It was Firestorm who officially announced the dissolution of the new Justice League following the conclusion of the battle.

“We don’t want to tarnish the League’s legacy and reputation any further than we already have,” he told reporters.