Smallville Torch — Season One

VICE-VERSA VICE VERSED
Spring Dance Formalized

By Chloe Sullivan

In a move that makes the judging in Olympic figure skating look orderly and fair, Principal Kwan announced this week that the traditional Vice-Versa Dance will no longer be vice-versa, dropping a 100-year-old tradition. The ever-popular principal stated that the “girl ask guy” idea was “inappropriate” and “outdated.” The drama club requested the change because members believe that in keeping with the theme of the dance, which is old school Hollywood, males should ask females just like characters in the movies of that era. “It is important to encourage people of either sex to request a date to the dance. I feel defining which gender should do the asking is counterproductive and inherently sexist,” Kwan said. He did acknowledge, however, that the drama club suggestion encouraged this action.

Students are upset for a variety of reasons. Senior Diana Wolfe said, “Another Smallville tradition trampled upon by Principal James Kwan. My grandparents got married ’cause my grandma asked my grandpa to the Sadie Hawkins dance back in their day.”

Steve Bradford voiced another concern, “You know what this means?!? It means I’ll have to ask a girl now rather than fight off the ladies. That’s too much work! I might not even go to the dance at all!”

Ways and Means Committee Chair Ellen Rydzewski, the person primarily responsible for the dance, expressed her concerns, too. “First Kwan says we can’t do the old school Hollywood theme that the students voted for. Then he breaks the tradition. Now he says MAYBE on the theme. It’s a mess! Totally O.O.C.!”

In any case, the dance will now be referred to as the Spring Formal, also breaking the 100-year-old casual format of the event. But Principal Kwan still has concerns about the costs of this particular theme on the students. When asked to comment, Principal Kwan said that it was a matter he has “taken under advisement, and the official announcement will be made soon by Chairperson Rydzewski.”

ELECTION 2002: CROWING ABOUT THE CANDIDATES

By Pete Ross

Three candidates are vying for the role of president of my class: Sasha Woodman, Felice Chandler and Paul Chan. Here’s a brief breakdown.

Members of any club should be familiar with Sasha Woodman. She’s very energetic and has done her best to become an integral part of almost any club she is involved in. A section editor of the yearbook and first chair flute in the school band, Sasha also played Hermia in last fall’s production of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” Some say she is very persuasive and easily influences others to support her causes. Critics have called Sasha a college résumé padder. Sasha, however, says she wants to make a difference at Smallville High. “They [the critics] are simply buzzing with jealousy because I actually go for the things I want,” Sasha told the Torch in an exclusive interview. “I feel that is important. I will give my class 150%,” she said.

Felice Chandler is another candidate for class president. Felice is the daughter of R. Joseph Chandler, owner of Chandler Cotton and second-richest man in Smallville. Felice’s critics say that she gives off a “holier than thou” air. However, Felice says she can use her popularity to make the school better.

Finally, Paul Chan has been spotted around the hallways already polling students about what they are looking for in a class president. A recent transplant to the school, coming to Smallville from Keystone City last year, Paul believes in a very open relationship between members of the student government and the class. “I want every student to know they can tell me what they need, and I can be sure to make it happen,” Paul told the Torch.Paul’s critics say he’s not aggressive enough and might not have the right amount of clout to sway the students.

We shall all find out next week.