Volume 53, Issue 22 | 2004


Volume 53, Issue 22 | 2004

BON VOYAGE, LANA LANG

By Chloe Sullivan

Lana Lang will have a bit more than cow-tipping and walking the corn on her summer itinerary. The Smallville High student was accepted to the prestigious Paris School of the Arts.

“I’m so excited,” said Lang, as she folded a few scarves into her suitcase. “I’ve always considered my trips to Metropolis as ‘getting away’ so, I mean, halfway around the world will be more than culture shock, it’ll take a whole new me.”

For Lang, this once-in-a-lifetime chance to pretend she’s Amelie and hang out with artsy types from La Sorbonne on St. Michele will expose her to some of the most famous art in the world.

“I can’t wait to see the Mona Lisa at the Louvre,” said Lang, whose eyes sparkled just saying it.

And she better not pull a Rachel, either. If anyone deserves a bottomless bowl of Berthillion ice cream, it’s Lang, who has been in and out of the Torch‘s headlines for months.

“After all the drama I’ve been tangled up with, I need to find Lana again.”

And what about leaving those proud-of-her-for-experiencing-life-but-will-miss-her-like-crazy-because-no-one-makes-a-double-double-soy-latte-like-Lana-my-god-how-can-you-leave-us friends? 

“My friends are the most important things in the world to me. I can’t imagine what it will be like boarding that plane.” Lang sponged her eyes and went on to say, “But it’s time I learn to let go and take a chance–really dive into something new, because I feel like I’ve been to the Smallville museum. I’ve seen the paintings.” Lang struggled to zip her bulging suitcase before she went on to say, “and I need to see what else is out there.”

Though Lang promises she won’t forget us burger-bred Americans while she’s away, we can assume a Sandwich Grec Complet avec frites will be on The Talon’s menu by the year’s end. Good luck, Lana. Au revoir.


Volume 53, Issue 22 | 2004

SPANISH FOR UFOS

By Jennifer Match

Here’s the latest International Torch entry sent in by you, our faithful readers and freakmeisters. If everything honorary contributor Jennifer Match says is true, we may have to change the sign boasting that Smallville is the Meteor Capital of the World. I wonder if they have all the mutations to go with them. This submission comes to us all the way from beautiful España. Now let me just find all my accents and tildes…okay, ready. Cheers, Chloe.

The people of Spain living close to the city of Leòn spotted an object in the sky at 4:00 in the morning on August 14. The object rushed toward the earth’s surface at a high rate of speed, producing a visible brightness for a few seconds and leaving a great yellow and blue trail in the sky.

The celestial body could be seen from various places close to the coordinates of 5.5 degrees northeast and 42.6 degrees north of the prime meridian. More phenomena like this have occurred in other places in the Iberian Peninsula at night.

In the northeast of Spain, like in Mieres, in Austurias and later in Toro, Zamora, residents could also make out objects falling from the sky. Spain does not keep records on this as they do in other parts of the world where similar occurrences have taken place. However, despite the lack of evidence, it is pretty likely that these things occurred.

In Leòn, the civil guard took down eyewitness accounts in the days following the sighting, and a search went on for two weeks for the objects. However, only fragments of blue rock (possible fragments of asteroids) were found. They were supposedly collected and sent to be investigated by a special scientific police force, but as of now, we do not know any date for an investigation, and the evidence seems to have been lost.

In another incident…

January 4, 2004

Millions of People Witness a Shower of Meteorites

The emergency telephone number, 112, in Madrid went crazy as it received some 21 phone calls from distinct points of the country in which callers stated they had seen “incandescent objects” falling from the sky. There were reports of sightings in Valladolid, Palencia, Albacete, Valencia, Castellòn, A Coruña and Leòn, all reporting “fireballs” or “balls of light.”

It was 5:45 in the afternoon when a 112 emergency spokesperson received calls reporting strange objects in the sky. After receiving the first calls, firemen, civil guard and local police were dispatched and put in contact with Civil Aviation to see if they could find a crashing plane–ruling out the obvious. The control tower of Madrid Barajas International Airport was put in contact with the Area Centre for Meteorology in Madrid and Castilla-La Mancha to inform them of the phenomenon as well.

It seems that the provinces of Albacete, Valencia, Castellòn, A Coruña and also Leòn witnessed this phenomenon.

Authorities suggest the sightings were of disintegrating meteorites. The National Institute of Meteorology stated that their radars and satellite images “did not detect anything abnormal” and practically ruled out any known atmospheric phenomenon.

In some of the municipalities, the falling objects produced small fires when the incandescent bodies fell to the ground. Firefighters put out a fire in the locality of Castellonense de Cabanes, behind the disco Piràmide off the highway running through Oropesa. Also, the provence of Castellòn, between the municipalities of Nules and Vall d’Uxo, reported small fires supposedly caused by the fireballs.

So Spain, without a doubt, was GROUND ZERO for meteorite showers this year.


Volume 53, Issue 22 | 2004

22 THINGS I LEARNED THIS YEAR

By Chloe Sullivan

  1. Be careful helping those in Exile–friend or foe, self-imposed or not.
  2. The Phoenix always emerges from the ashes more powerful than ever.
  3. Even meteor freaks deserve a fate better than Extinction.
  4. While in Slumber, pay close attention to imagery of socks. (It’s somewhere online…If you don’t know what I’m talking about, better ask somebody.)
  5. Something tells me this is not the last we’ve seen of the man called Perry.
  6. A Relic can give rise to old memories.
  7. Magnetic attraction can result in two weeks’ probation.
  8. Bad parenting can result in a Shattered mind.
  9. Fact: There are more former SHS students at Belle Reve insane Asylum than at any one university in the U.S. It ain’t the water here, kids.
  10. If you are inclined to Whisper it, you probably shouldn’t say it.
  11. If you don’t know who sent it…Delete it.
  12. Remember the butterfly; don’t mess with the Hereafter.
  13. Minus Pete Ross, the days will pass with a much slower Velocity around here.
  14. We all have an Obsession (I know I do), but you have to know your boundaries–even if you think you are hotter than Lana Lang.
  15. Resurrection should be left to a higher power, not a biologist.
  16. The Chinese character for the word Crisis is the combination of the symbols representing extreme danger and extreme opportunity. Think about it.
  17. Leave a Legacy. Make it positive. A purposeful life is a life of purpose.
  18. As much as I love the Truth–it can hurt.
  19. Sometimes the only way to describe a beautiful thing is to coin a word like Memoria.
  20. A Talisman is the property of the culture that created it, not the “looters” who looted it.
  21. When Forsaken, a child will grow desperate for affection.
  22. Do not break a Covenant.

Have a great summer! Now turn off your computer, and go outside and play.

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