Smallville Torch — Season One

WHERE ARE OUR PRIORITIES?

By Chloe Sullivan
Illustration by Tyler Harron

Why do we come to SHS in the first place? Are we here to passively plug into a system we have no choice but to accept? Or, are we here to make our own way, clear our own path, take Frost’s less-traveled road (see: English Class)?

If we’re not strong enough to huck a football, if we can’t find pleasure in a pom-pom, where does that leave us? Well, according to the fiscal priorities of our current administration . . . virtually nowhere.

Want a lesson in priorities? Not three weeks ago, Principal Kwan told this paper that education comes first. Well, this week Principal Kwan approved funding for the refinishing of our gymnasium floor. Do you know how much that will cost? Thousands! Priority deathmatch number one: smoother gym floor vs. smarter student brain.

How about some new books for my history class, Puppet (er, I mean Principal) Kwan?! ‘Cause according to the current standard issued text, our nation’s leader is still a peanut farmer from Georgia. Are kids in the big cities as deprived as we are? Or, do we pity them for their life without decals on their football helmets? Is this some sort of conspiracy by the urban elite to keep small-town Middle America stupid and stationary?

Now to the point of all this ranting and railing. With the Internet providing us with a world of knowledge literally at our fingertips, who needs flesh-and-blood teachers and brick monuments to ignorance? Think about it! I say forget this school, forget this hypocritical administration, forget this backward-thinking town! Educate yourself–blaze your own path–start feeding your own brain.

Unfortunately, this school and this town place such a social premium on those who can shoot the three-point basket that we ostracize those who can write the thought-provoking sonnet (see: English Class, again). This could be the very heart of the problem: When did Nancy Casey ever make the front page of the Ledger for getting one hundred percent on her Algebra exam? Uh, that would be never. But Whitney Fordman passes for one hundred yards, and every Smallvillian’s reading about him with their Saturday morning coffee.

If this school and this town are not going to help us understand WHY we need to learn the Pythagorean Theorem (see: Math class) and are not going to celebrate us once we do, then I say we need to figure it out on our own. Go find the pleasure of doing so within ourselves.

Let me know what you think about the shortcomings of our current high school system. E-mail responses to Chloe.

TORCH TORCHED
Town Tormented

By Chloe Sullivan

So the Torch was torched, but as promised, I’m back. As a wave of flames nipped at my heels, I started thinking . . . what is it with Smallville?

Do a quick math problem with me. October 25, 1989–D.O.S. (Day of Shower). Meteors fall from the sky, decimating the idyllic hamlet of Smallville. Post-D.O.S.–weird stuff starts to happen. Don’t believe me? Let’s add up a few of the freaky events of the past month.

Take one Jeremy Creek in a coma since D.O.S.–dorky kid, aged exactly no days, shows up at Homecoming unconscious at the wheel of a crashed truck. Add to Jeremy one Greg Arkin–Mom found dead, entombed in a “spider” web. But then subtract Greg Arkin, because he hasn’t been seen since. Add in one Legendary Football Coach going for win 200, but don’t get too attached, because you have to subtract him, too. Unfortunately, Coach mysteriously disappeared in a fire after his players named him in a schoolwide cheating scandal. Multiply it all by Tina Greer–found impersonating a football star and trying to kill Lana Lang. Conveniently, we’ve got to subtract her too because she was shipped off to an asylum to work on her identity crisis. What’s the sum of all that craziness? One seriously screwed-up small town.

Normal events? I think not. Smallville? I think so. Post-D.O.S. Smallville has definitely been pretty psycho, but the question is: Why? Despite all our fun math, you can’t just blame the meteor shower, because around the same time, Lionel Luther opened Plant No. 3. Fertilizer Plant No. 3 . . . probably not a bastion of environmental safety. I’m not placing blame here. I’m just presenting you with the variables. Lemme know your theories at Chloe.

HEROES REVEALED!
Students Tell The Torch Who Saves Their Day

By Pete Ross

Last week, following the many recent acts of bravery around Smallville and beyond, the Torch asked readers to tell us who their heroes are or describe what a hero is. We here at the Torchwere surprised to find a VERY LARGE stack of entries, either e-mailed to us or placed outside of the newspaper office.

Responses ranged from the serious, like one student who proclaimed that his fireman father is his hero, to the lighthearted, like the correspondent who said his hero is Britney Spears. As promised, we (we being myself and Torch editor in chief Chloe Sullivan) have picked two of our favorite responses, and we’re printing them below. Thanks to everyone who participated in our survey.

Hero #1
A hero is a person who helps and protects others, especially all those who are weaker and can’t protect themselves. A hero shows courage in the face of danger. Courage is not being unafraid all the time. It means still going on even when you are afraid. A hero does what’s right without expecting a reward. A true hero fights for justice and freedom and stands up to all those who stand in the way of other people’s happiness. He/she does what they can for all those who need it regardless of his/her personal feelings for the person who needs the hero’s help. Heroes are not necessarily extremely strong or smart or bold or famous. They don’t do heroic things to get fame or money, they do them selflessly to help those who are in need. Heroes can be firefighters, religious leaders, teachers, mentors, coaches, family members or just people who are kind. They can be anyone who helps a friend or stranger in need.

–Brendan

Hero #2
Whitney Fordman is DEFINITELY my hero! He leads the football team off and on the field and gives us all something to “crow” about! Plus I heard he saved Lana from that geeky bugboy who somehow managed to kidnap her. Whitney is a doll, and he’s sooo dreamy!

–Kassie

Note: This entry won because it made Chloe laugh so hard that soda pop shot out of her nose.