HURRICANE LUCY PASSES THROUGH SMALLVILLE
Visitor Leaves Questions About Her Future And A Lesson From Her Past

Lucy Lane came to Smallville in hopes of conning enough out of Lex Luthor to pay off her debts.

By Chloe Sullivan

When my cousin, Lucy Lane, fled town yesterday behind the wheel of Lex Luthor’s six-figure sports car, she left behind more questions than answers. Most notably, will she ever come back? And, if she does, will she do so as a prisoner? 

Lex Luthor has done his part to answer the latter question by refusing to press charges against Lucy for both the elaborate scam she tried to pull on him and for the theft of his car. Incidentally, Lex VI or VII or VIII (I can’t keep up anymore) was found in the parking lot of Metropolis’ central train station five hours after we last saw her. The car was unmolested. 

No doubt, Lex’s own notoriously rebellious childhood played a part in his charitable decision to let Lucy flee sans police pursuit. No doubt, Lucy is anywhere but the United States by now. 

Lucy left behind a hastily scribbled, remorseful apology note to her sister in Lex’s car. Here’s what it said: 

Lo,
The General always said, “If you want inner peace, prepare for mental war.” Well, my emotional troops are about to give up the fight, so I’m off to search for the lesson to be learned from all of this on my own. I hope you can forgive me. 

I do love you. And I am sorry.
Lucy 

Lucy will get a second chance and, as her family member, I can only hope she figures out that not keeping up with the Joneses of the private Euro school elite is far less painful than getting your legs broken by the debt collector.