Smallville Torch

Volume 50, Issue 47 | 2001

TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE DRIVER’S SEAT

By Pete Ross

I’ll start by getting this out in the open: Until last week, I had never gone on a really good date in my life. Sure, I’d gone with girls to this dance or that event as a “friend-friend” thing, but nothing really added up to something I would classify as success. That all changed last week, when I had an experience that made me discover what might make the whole dating ritual much more manageable.

Last week, I took a female “friend” to The Beanery. Things were going well–we were clicking. The next thing I knew, another friend offered me a chance to use her limousine for the night. I’m here to tell you–a whole new world opened up to me.

For starters, by not having to drive, you have a whole lot of freedom you wouldn’t otherwise have, and you can actually enjoy a “date.” No need to struggle to play DJ while steering–there’s someone else driving, and there’s a CD player right at your disposal in the back, giving you heightened control over the mood music.

Not worrying about the traffic can also mean you can pay more attention to the person you’re playing the music for. Girls can tell when they’re talking and you’re not really listening, and trust me, if they catch you doing that they won’t ever bother with you again. By taking a limo and letting someone else do the driving, you can give your date your undivided attention.

There are other advantages to going limo. You do not have to clean out all that junk you keep in your car. A good limo should come fresh and clean. Even if you mess it up on your date, they take care of the mess for you (within reason). You also won’t have to borrow your dad’s old clunky orange car or your uncle’s white pickup truck. Instead of that junked-up set of wheels, you’ve got something that will leave your date speechless. Her parents won’t think you’re some redneck bum picking her up; instead, they’ll think you are someone heading for success. Plus they won’t worry about your safe driving. And with the recent driving record of many of our classmates, this may be a good way to get the parentals to help flip the bill.

I encourage my fellow men of Smallville High to forgo the whole “borrow Mom’s car” thing next time there’s a prom or a dance and instead shell out the extra dough to rent a limo. It costs a lot less than you may think, and you might impress the ladies enough that they may actually want to see you again. And hey, after the whole incident at our last dance that left three trucks piled out back, maybe bringing your own wheels isn’t such a hot idea anyway!

[Note! On the recommendation of my good friend and editor Chloe, I want to include a disclaimer that this is NOT meant to imply in any way that the ladies of Smallville High are shallow. Instead, my goal is to inform the other male Crows that there’s an easier way and a better way to have a good date and give more attention to her. Thanks–Pete]

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